Sunday, 3 Nov 2024

I Love to Watch You Play

This article was originally published in 2011, but it still holds true today.

As my last child navigates her final year of high school, juggling a demanding academic schedule, varsity sports commitments, and maintaining strong friendships, I find myself reflecting on how much I will miss watching her play. It has always been my simple message to my children after their competitions: “I love to watch you play.” And it’s true. This statement not only prevents me from taking on the role of a coach but also provides them with an opportunity to discuss their experiences and insights from the game.

From sword battles in the living room and sidewalk races in front of the house to bunk bed communication devices and foam noodle helicopters, we have had countless moments of play. Our adventures have taken us skiing, biking, camping, and enjoying various card games. The bond between my daughter and her brother has always amazed others, who often ask how they manage to get along so well. The answer is simple – they have always been close and supportive of each other.

When I look back on our journey, I attribute our strong relationship to a combination of factors. Encouraging curiosity, valuing effort over outcome, traveling, engaging in sports, appreciating good music, nurturing friendships, and being open to new experiences have all played a significant role. Additionally, my background in biology has taught me to embrace the risks and unpredictability of life without constantly intervening or worrying. I firmly believe that excessive use of antibacterial products may lead to the emergence of more potent and resistant strains of bacteria. For those new to my blog, I recommend reading Alpinetgheep to gain further insights.

Watching your child play, whether they are just starting out or have reached a higher level, is an incredible gift.

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As a single parent, I have encountered challenging moments such as sibling fights and tears. I have learned to redirect their attention by saying, “Wow, look at that!” and asking questions about whatever has captured their interest. It could be something as simple as an airplane vent or a picture they have never seen before. By incorporating questions and sharing offbeat stories, I have been able to prevent tantrums and meltdowns that often affect other parents.

My commitment to rewarding effort over outcome was reinforced when I read Carol Dweck’s book, “Mindset.” This lesson was exemplified when both of my children worked through the night to complete a team project because their teammates had not contributed. They finished the project on their own, with me offering support and encouragement but refraining from doing the work for them. The next day, I approached the school principal, who agreed to provide them with homework for the day without alerting them. That night, after an earlier bedtime, we packed our winter clothes and ski gear into the car.

The following morning, we set off for school as usual, only to “miss” the exit and embark on a skiing adventure together. We skied, with their homework in hand, without a care about the grades their projects might receive. These experiences have taught my children the importance of hard work and dedication.

You Plan, I Pay, We Play

This reminds me of a story shared by a fellow U.S. Paralympic cohort, Cindy. She broke out of her parenting comfort zone by taking her 16-year-old son on a three-week trip to Europe with the mantra, “You Plan, I Pay, We Play.” Her son’s planning mostly involved looking at train station departure boards and adventuring to new cities and countries without concrete plans or hotel reservations. This story resonated with me and reminded me of a similar experience my children and I had during the 2002 Winter Olympics. As we watched the opening ceremonies, I remarked how thrilling it would be to attend the Olympics together someday. My son, Cody, responded with utmost seriousness, saying, “Dad, that would be the single most exciting thing in my life.”

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Spurred by his enthusiasm, we called a family in Provo who were attending a tournament in Las Vegas but lacked tickets for the event. They offered us a place to stay, and we journeyed to Utah, missing only two days of school. Along the way, we stumbled upon the Olympic hockey venue and managed to catch two incredible games at a discounted price. We also bought tickets for cross-country skiing, which unexpectedly included two events due to a rescheduling. These experiences taught my children the value of effort and the joy of unexpected adventures.

Music, Travel, Friends

Our travels have allowed us to explore more than 30 states, including a memorable camping trip north of the Arctic Circle on the Alaskan Pipeline. Volleyball has taken us to Coldfoot, Alaska, where my children played alongside the locals. They have also experienced schools and cultures in Mexico, Canada, Egypt, and Fiji. Most of these trips have been by car, which has provided us with countless hours of quality time and exposure to various music genres.

I have collected over 100 music DVDs to ensure my children can see the performers I admire. With advancements in technology, we have also embraced iPods and the extensive library of songs that accompany our travels.

As a friend and mentor, I have consistently made time to connect with my children’s classmates during lunch breaks. This not only provided me with a good workout – pushing them on swings and keeping them entertained – but also allowed me to offer guidance and counseling. Recently, I came across an effective teaching technique to address bullying. I encourage kids to crumple a clean sheet of paper, treat it harshly, and then attempt to flatten it back to its original state. This exercise helps them understand the effects of meanness and the importance of treating others with kindness.

I treasure the moments when I can still hold my daughter’s hand or arm during special occasions like homecoming. The memories created during walks to and from school, hand in hand, will last a lifetime. Although I will miss the after-school snacks, homework sessions, and sleepovers with my children’s friends, I hope they can maintain these meaningful relationships as I have with my schoolmates.

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I am grateful for having witnessed my daughter’s final high school season. They faced formidable opponents, including their crosstown rivals, and reached the finals undefeated. Seeing her play alongside her friends and teammates one last time and winning the championship with a perfect season of 31-0 was truly remarkable. The infectious love for the game, as acknowledged by Coach Dave Barkley, was evident throughout the competition.

MaxPreps has ranked them among the top 100 teams in the nation, a well-deserved recognition for their commitment and hard work. As they embark on their collegiate journey, I am unable to attend their school assembly due to professional obligations. Nevertheless, I take solace in knowing that I have witnessed their growth and development, and I will always cherish the memories.

FAQs

Q: How can I encourage my child’s love for playing sports?
A: The key is to foster an environment that values effort over outcome and encourages curiosity. Focus on their enjoyment of the game and provide opportunities for them to explore different sports.

Q: How can I strengthen the bond between siblings?
A: Encourage shared interests and provide opportunities for them to play and learn together. Support and celebrate their individual achievements, while also fostering a sense of teamwork and mutual respect.

Conclusion

Watching our children play, whether it’s in a sports competition or during imaginative play at home, is an irreplaceable experience. It allows us to witness their growth, development, and the joy they derive from engaging in activities they love. By fostering curiosity, rewarding effort over outcome, and providing opportunities for exploration and adventure, we can shape their experiences and create lasting memories. So, let’s embrace the gift of watching our children play and celebrate their passion for life.